Frankly Frankie

You can be having a great day and then all of a sudden....POW It's amazing what sparks the unraveling of negative emotions.  It can be a song, a smell or a chain of words....almost poetic indeed. It is ironic in a way how you can have 100 people patting you on the back, telling you how wonderful you are and how proud of they are....but that ONE person can make everything disappear and you are left with your hands empty and your heart aching for that LOVE you thought was real.  The reality is...some people are just afraid of REAL LOVE....they can not handle anyone really loving them for who they are. They assume other people are as shallow in their love giving, and that there are strings attached to everything, so they push REAL LOVE away and hug closer to the meaningless objects and relationships...when all along there were those of us who loved them honestly and purely for who they were, not for what they gave or what we thought we could change them into.  ...

Day 1)  a few months ago I asked someone (in jest of course) how many DAY 1's can a person have....his response was be thankful for every day one, some people never even try and never get a day one under their belt.  THAT ONE STATEMENT has inspired me many times to just "start over" or as I like to say now...KEEP GOING.  Today was another DAY 1) I came to the conclusion awhile ago....I am going to be in pain no matter what I do...so I might as well KEEP MOVING.  But getting started again is so difficult.  First you got to get your head in the game, because you know it is not going to be easy, and lets face it everyone wants to take the easy way.  Secondly you have to come up with a game plan or plan of action.  and you have to be realistic, because lets face it your not going to run a mile if you have not even walked one in a few weeks.  This morning felt like starting over from scratch.  I got up earlier than I had been (yay me)...

My thoughts are wandering today.... I had the pleasure of a conversation with a delightful young man....he is smart, handsome, talented in many areas, has a wonderful career and a beautiful fiance....YET  he has a disease.... He has this internal need to please people and for people to like him.  The disease is literally stealing his life from him.  I know to many people (myself included) who suffer from this disease....it is crippling and debilitating...it is stealing our joy and the precious moments that we could be living a more confident life. Over the last few years I have often I thought I was cured. Sometimes I could care less what anyone thinks of me...than all of a sudden, I am whisked back into the conundrum of caring way to much what the world thinks about me and my thoughts and actions.....WHY do I share this?  Shouldn't we care what others think to a degree?  Because our actions REALLY DO say who we are as people....don't we want our message to ...